The Struggle

Ego is so cumbersome to sustain
Tired I give up
For moments I float care free
and at peace
But when I tell It
It hits me back
with
You will always be on your own
Never to share loving someone
Straightening his shirt collar
A gentle look
An embrace
That will be your lot
(oh, we've lived together so long
traitor it knows my weakest spots)
and then It sends me a dream
swimming relentlessly
in a muddy muddy river
chasing a turtle
it is all too brown
to see
and then I am
totally swamped
overwhelmed
tears run with the water
and I really really need to
curl up into a ball
and disappear

Wow
What a backlash
for five minutes of freedom...