In Abundance

Stood in this place
I know
there is air and water
to sustain me
there is sweet potatoe
in the earth
there are more hugs
than I can get to
there are more tears
than I have time to cry
there are more thank yous
than days left in my life
the trees are still breathing
and lakes with a moon
and so much love
that I might burst
like a blueberry

and there is more love
than I can take
even if I was
as big as the Sun

and sometimes I am
while stood in this place

Illuminated

I dont always succeed
I sometimes only get a glimpse
But I vow to keep doing it
I have found treasure

Beyond Fear

Lifting the veil of fear,
the thick blanket of suspect motives
a new world is uncovered
one in which you are safe,
cared for and deeply loved

Lifting the veil of fear
your first love has always cared
and always will
because Love is like that

Lifting the veil of fear
your Mother has always wished you well
and held you her best
because Love is like that

Lifting the veil of fear
your brother is always with you
in unconditional admiration
because Love is like that

And that friend whom you always forget to write to
who still invites you into her home,
laughs and cries with you-
Love is like that!

And that lover whom you've never trusted
wanting to see you and hear you
and understand,
hold hands
and lend his knee to step on
to get higher-
yes, Love is like that
under the veil of fear.

Welcome it

A Wow Moment

There is a name
to this overwhelming feeling
this desire
this yearning
following me around
for most of my life

Spiritual Partnership

There are no guarantees
but it is real
it comes to those
with awareness
with a core
and a conscious life
and emotional healing
and truth
and honesty
and respect
and responsibility

Small steps...

Learning/ Living/ Forgiving

Once more I trespass against myself
Once more I exhile myself
to the leper land
communing with those
beyond redemption
at least I am not alone
even if it is in Hell
breaking bread at the fire
we speak
and we are all dripping compassion
for everyone else
but we have none
for us.
And so we burn.

Nonesense

there goes another bird
and i try to tie words to it
but it laughs
and spits at me
and tells me
i am nonsense

It Is All Right

I know this place
Round and round the circles I've been
Up and down the spiral I've been
Into the depths of my soul I've seen

I know this place
In and out of Love I've been
In and out of my mind I've been
Darkness and bliss I have seen

I still know this place
In guilt and doubt and confusion I've been
In surrender and open I've been
Miracles I have seen

I live in this place
Where all of it
Every little bit of it-
It is all Right.

On Touch

You emerge intensely touched
The expanded vaginas
gifting their last all body strokes
birthing you into the world
where you're touched
and held and soothed and stroked
with hands and bodies and breasts
being so cute and vulnerable...
But it doesnt last
and most of us crave to be touched again
with the same intensity, presence, meaning.
With the same generousity and ease.
With Love.
Learning to touch again
Learning to be natural again
A gift to Self
and a well meant offering
to the Other.

On Self Respect

This one little thing
This crucial thing
Underlying everything

How much misery
and time invested
(wasted?)
if you get that one thing wrong!

I guess the misery
Is a helper
Poking you in the eye
About truths that you're blind to
otherwise.

I thank the misery
And remind myself
This is only a game after all.

Prayer

Dear Universe
Please help me not be arrogant and spiritual
Please help me not be full of good advice
Please help me keep my mouth shut
Please help me open my eyes
Please help me have the courage
Please help me have clarity
Please help me allow others to be right
Please help me cut down on judgement

For I have seen what all that looks like
And it aint pretty

My Place

I imagine dating for fun
as a social experiment
might be a very very
worthwhile thing to do!

Meeting people
all so varied
all from different orbits
discovering the whole variety
of the human species
One might not necessarily conclude
anything about their own
"normality"
as we all live in our unique
bubbles of madness
but one might conclude
that there is
a legitimate place
for them too!

That they do have a right
to air
and space
and nourishment
if all those other weirdoes do too...

Anger

I dont know about yours
But my Anger is never Anger
It seems to be a cover up
to frustration
and helplesness
and feelings of failure

So- honouring this fact
and not wanting to suppress
(God forbid!Therapy just too expensive!)
but acknowledge
and divert
and express
with (is this possible?)
elements of joy-
when the shower
goes hot and cold
and hot and cold
AGAIN
and when the little girl
wont stop wingeing
and when
everything is plain
irritating

I sing this song:

I'm spinning out of control
I'm spinning out of control
But instead of completely losing it
I'm gonna sing this song!

A miniature breakthrough for today at least...

This Is Good News

Feeling like a pile of rubble,
Unable to define My Self
I set out to reconstruct

And in my heart of hearts I find
love for my daughter
bonds with my parents
touched by Nature
compassion for people
touched by singing
love for my brother
bond with my husband
a peaceful place
love for growing plants
love for making things with my hands
respect for my body
enjoyment using my body with joy
many powerful feelings
hunger for justice
bonds with friends
deep yearning for peace
strong connection to my homeland
deep joy in my own company
deep connecting through poetry
forgiveness
connecting through art, cinema, music, theatre
deeply moved by guitar

This may not be much
But its a good start I figure.

The Road Unfolds

Just because you can not see the road
Does not mean there isnt one
For the road is always unfolding
right under your feet-
a constant creation-
Road of your choosing
Road of your reality.

And if you manage
to not concern yourself with the destination
this is the easiest way to travel.

The Sound Bath

Someone dims the lights
we are all in a circle
eyes close
a hum begins
then a melody
then many
and words
about happy
about peace
about love and singing and joy
melodies beautiful
sincere and spontaneous
everyone free to be
in this blind sound
everyone free to give
to all and themselves

And it is a funny thing
how in this circle
you are so ALONE
...
and so COMPLETE
...
and so CONNECTED


In the sound bath of the human heart...

Emotional

Turns out there is someone
whos permission I need to get
to feel angry
to feel irritated
to feel elated
to feel love

Its ME!
Do I have the permission finally???

Imperfect

With my lungs tight
with tired sore eyes
I see that Perfection
makes a bad travel companion.
Dont follow me,
go fool someone else!

Mindfully

...from a smile to a hug
from the hug to water
from water to a peach
from the peach to a crumpet
from the crumpet to a book
from the book to a cartoon
from the cartoon to a letter
from the letter to a closet
from the closet to a toothbrush
from the toothbrush to a key
from the key to a bus stop
from the bus stop to touch
from touch to the rest
of this day
lived for once
mindfully...

Forgiveness

How much is enough?
When can we stop?
Who should we
And how to?
What difference will it make?
Will it ever run out?
Is there an end?
And Yourself?
How to start with?

Synchronicities

The book arrives
The toddler is content
This lady has a suggestion

It is all perfect
I dont resist
which leaves me flat
and feels empty
and somewhat sad
but content
resting and at peace
stripped bare
of emotions and expectations
like respite

I am sadness
for as long as I need to
until I no longer
am