Going Home

What I want to know
Is do Snowdrops still grow
In the woods below
My home?
Do I still know
My way back
to where I belong?
Its been so long...

The Ultimate Path

It started with an occassional glimpse a little while ago.
Then they started to roll and stick all together
like mercury
and the blob of the glimpse is now expanding in me,
growing like a tree.
I have seen that place beyond fear.
And I can tell you
It is scary in that tunnel that connects Here and Beyond fear...
Safe feelings can be induced Here with sufficient repetition,
a marriage perhaps and many promises restated,
a house, a career and a savings account
if you just keep on working on it day by day.
There is no fear Beyond fear-
people walk tall and true and all masks have fallen
there is nothing to fear as there is nothing else but you and Love.
But it is terrifying in that in-between place
that pulls you back like gravity
and so few make the passage...
Who will hold my hand while the vision expands in my heart.
Who will walk with me.
Perhaps on the other side we can sit on the rocks
survey the moon-lit landscape like that night in Ireland
and marvel at the expanse of Life, Love and Us.

The Midnight Swim

Not a soul was seen
only me and him
in the midnight lake
full moon lighting up the waters
rippling like beads
it was easy to think
we were part of the lake,
the water, the mud
under feet
it was easy to see
how we belong
and then he touched me
stroking my mermaid breasts
white in the moon light
his fingers
like hungry eels
entering playful
then with worship
and reverence
then amazement and adoration
serving me pleasure
on this moonlit dish
on this perfect night

Will there be healing

I hear his story and wonder if it is all about believing in his own unloveability.
Believing it so strongly that only rejection and compromises are possible.
Believing it so strongly that he too must reject- true happiness thought not deserved.
In his middle, in his very heart lies a dark disturbing secret to which he is a slave
If you listen carefully you will hear the shackles clank and his ankles so sore.
And I close my eyes and I reach out my hand and I love him.
Whether he disrespects or worships I love him.
When he rejects, when he retraces his steps I love him.
When he disappears, when hes mad, when hes self righteous I love him.
Like a buoy in the wretched see anchored deep I love him.
I finally get it.
He does not need to do anything for me to love him.
Always near him, always standing close, always within arms reach I love him.
Until he can enter his heart of hearts and sweep it clean and replace the bulb
And finally see his own beautiful greateness.

The Guesthouse (by Rumi)

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Like Coming Home

It wasnt what he said
because the words were not enough
It wasnt the voice
because the voice was absent
It wasnt the shape of the mouth
as the mouth was unseen
It was only
the uninhibited expression
of his nature
that felt like coming home
full of joy
and nothing to hold back

Convergence

It turns out
we feel in differences
and talk in differences
about the very same thing.
Convergence is beautiful!

Annihilation Anyone?

If such is the end of the world
Then we are all winners
Some of us they say
will not be able to contain
The Vibration
presumeably exploding into particles
aroused beyond containment
by titillating bliss
and some shall live
to be permanently blissed out
all three eyes sparkling
and making Love
the only currency

If such is the end of the world
I dont really mind,
Cant bloody wait.

Honouring My Instincts

So to hell with denial
I stare at those beautiful hands
Long fingers promising
Long nights of passion
The semi-exposed chest
My temperature rising
Caught in the sticky mess
Of the soup of my hormones
I surrender
To what is
And am grateful
For these pointers
To the world I havent found yet
To the path
I can not discover alone
To me
I can not discover alone...

Falling in Love

I guess we all do it differently after all

Some of us fully and then slowly retracing steps to crawl out
Some of us a little and then more and more with each day
Some of us teeter on that edge forever and ever and ever and ever
afraid to fall

But all of us should be able to
close our eyes
shut our gobs
and listen to our hearts

In the quiet
the heart knows
all there is to know
about falling in love
about giving everything
to be given everything
in return...

This Time

Just before the sunrise
the dark nigth of the soul
gets me
Looking inwards
for light and comfort
I am retreating
this may not be ambitious
but its the only
sensible thing to do

Going to the River

There is a darkness to this day
Overcast,
Trapped in the city apartment
The world is closing in
Suffocating

It is like the clouds
And the drizzle
Are inside your head
Raining dark confusion
Damp and cold

But down at the river
It is peace
This non-ambitious body of water
Just doing its thing
Relaxed
About everything

Drop the load into the water
Breathe with the slow flow
Of the brooks
And springs and streams and
This enormous thing
That this river is
Heading where its
Always been heading
Inevitably
Peacefully
Not questioning why
Are the clouds so dark today
Not pining for sun
And clarity
No resistance
To the pull
Of gravity
And the Moon
And the land

Go down to the river
Drop the load
You too can float
Down to your Sea

Wisdom of Children

In the middle of a scalding
She turns to me saying
Mummy I want a cuddle and a kiss
Her face wet with her baby tears

Is that the same as saying
Mummy, you're moving away from Love
I need to get back to Love
Where we both belong

Thanks to the wisdom of my child
We have found a way:
In our little world
A hug and a kiss heals everything.

Seeing Inside

There was a fish
And a man

It was exciting for a while
to watch them
engaged in
what looked like an adventure
A thrill of the spinning,
one excited man
and the Brisbane river
with skyscrapers
and stadium lights
in the background
It was exciting for a while
to follow
the invisible line
through the black of the night
and the black river,
uncertain yet
who is ahead
was the fish leading the man
or the man leading the fish
one couldnt tell
for a while
nothing was certain
only that it was going to be
a big one
a city grown beast
and then he came in
losing the battle
but not giving up
the thrashing and resisting thing
powerful and robbed off its power
and so the man won him
from the River
and he swung it out
and with a great big
city thud
this fish hit the real hard city pavement
and I swayed long
in the shock wave
up and down
and I hope
he died instantly

but all these things-
excitement, loss, desperation, loathing, shame, shock
were they there at all?
was I seeing clearly?

because really-what there was-
there was a fish
and a man
and may be
we can leave it at that.