Mutual Support

Now theres one thats almost hard to say
and sort of makes me cringe

Having believed for decades
that I must get on, get ahead, manage, cope
ON MY OWN,
there is a sense of pride
and independence
in that.
It isnt how it started.
It started with powerlesness,
with despair
and hurt and anger and pain
being so little
facing this big big world
on my own
as percieved
and very few tools.

Having survived
and got ahead
and managed
I am proud.
Its working.
I have found a formula.
Except that
its built on a void
with no fundaments
its kind of hanging in the air
on a cloud of pain
as something in me
cries
and begs
and pleads:
"We are all here to support each other!"

And it shakes my chest like an earthquake
it expands in my heart
and it hurts
as it explodes
in slow motion