My Will to Live

Some dark places are these
that I seem to have chosen
to visit though I have
no recollection of making
this particular choice
like Hopelesness and
Helplesness and where they dwell
no matter how hard I look
I have to admit my
Will to Live is missing
nowhere to be seen
not even one smiley
corner of the usually
cheerful thing-
completely missing!
ravaged by fever I lie
in my hot bath of
natural oils and remedies
wondering how will I ever
climb out of this dark
dark place with not as much
to lean on as a
Will to Live

And when I'm better
and when I can breathe again
upright and full chest
when I sit again on
the buttressed roots
of the park figs
growing roots and shoots
grown men climbing overhead
excited and free like
children-
then I look down
the dark dark pit,
cross myself over
three times and
pray for those
who never made it out
and how easy that would be
on one hopeless and
helpless day. I leave it
behind
in the dry leaves
and walk on.