Sanity of the Humanity

There is a lie
you only get to discover
after a certain age
no one mentions it
you might never know
though brave comedians
occassionally joke about it
how we knew it all at seventeen
and gradually lost it
but always sure to bring themselves
back into line fast
lest their review
condemns them to a
psychiatric examination.
And creative folk-
they might refer to it
but its different for them,
they sort of have claimed
this truth as their own
which is amazing
considering how hard everyone else is lying!
Oh and the other day
I met this psychopath
she really was
A fascinating woman
grandiose as Taj Mahal
or may be Rome itself-
all of it I mean!-
yes, she claimed to know the truth too
though I was weary of her
and her claims
as I couldnt verify any of them
on google
but could clearly verify
her symptoms
A few claim to have found comfort
in the discomfort of truth
without needing to burn it
constantly
into art
lest it burns you
(which is how artists are made)-
psychologists mainly
with letters after their name
and a few book deals
and a quiet standard life mostly-
the spouse, the kids, the dog,
nothing out of ordinary
Some thread the thin safe line
between the lie and the truth
if you can call it threading-
10 hours a day on a mat
and motionless-
staying on a path this narrow
does require one's full attention
constantly
you really cant afford to
take your eyes off it.
The rest of us
muddle on.
The rest of us
struggle on.
The rest of us
get prescription drugs
move countries
take a year out
do a pilgrimage
promptly followed by
a change of faith
or depression
take lovers
leave lovers
all the while plagued
by this dark dark feeling
that something just isnt right
on a big scale
that we can not still be grieving
that push into the puddle
on the way from school
and we start to face this feeling
that someone somewhere lied
about everyone else
like all those amazing minds
got confused there for a while
over gravity
and particles
and we are losing the grip
trying to understand
why our quantum parts
dont just gravitate
in predictable trajectories
down down down
and safe safe safe
and always where we can see them!
And we take an awful long time
to find that truth.
I suppose some never do.
And if we do
we dont really know
what to do with it...
That simple truth
that
THEY
JUST
DONT

And there isnt any more to it.

Caught in Projections

So you insist you've been cruel to me
I hear you well, you really want
to apologise
for being so cruel
forcing this cruelty thing
down my throat
I am honest when I tell you
it said many things to me
(mainly immaturity and anger)
but cruelty was not amongst them

For feeling cruel at times
(just like we all do),
for judging yourself as cruel
at times,
for judging cruelty
and your ability to contain it
there is someone else to talk to.
This isnt mine.
And if you're truly kind
and are looking for forgiveness-
forgive Yourself.
And breathe easy...

Meditation on Fulfilment of Love

This room is light up with
only a chain of fairy lights
and there you sleep
an angel visitor to my life
dreaming your little girl's dreams
as I invite contemplation
and ask What would fulfilment
of love look like in my life?
I listen for an answer
keeping thoughts at bay like
annoying summer flies...
And eventually
with tears comes the answer:
THIS!
This is exactly what it looks like-
me here to kiss your knee
when you fall over,
me next to you when you
try out your new joke,
me here to see you sleep and at peace.
This is true fulfilment of love
and I vow to never sell out again.

Contain This

Each day many times I wonder
Am I really all despair?
Am I really all dreams?
Am I all music,
all peace, all longing?
Am I again all hurt?
Am I all passion,
all commitment,
all vision,
all energy?
Am I all sense and measure?
Am I all abandon?
Am I all nurture,
am I really all just sex?
Am I all love and friendly shoulder?
Am I all learning,
am I all inertia through and through?
Can I be all criticism
and can I be all inspiration today?
After keeping records for a while
I see all these and more I am
fully
one at a time
or combinations
It is still a long way
to integration...
The vastness of a human being
requires an ever expanding
frame of reference. 

Moth
flame
men
burn

Bee
honey
men
nourish

Excite
dont burn
Protect
dont suffocate

Passion
life
safe
together

Taking each step in honesty
No matter how far the mountain top
You smile. It is quiet down here,
not much happens. And so be it.

The Moon is again outside my window
She keeps coming back
And just so my pangs for Love
Keep coming back like the Goddess Moon